Ahhh, The Glory of Engrish Part III

Well, I got my computer back last night (YAY!). That was a nightmare in and of itself, and I hope that none of you ever have to deal with the Apple-certified tech repair people in Tianjin...ever! They will make everything as difficult for you as they possibly can (and that is not an exaggeration).

I digress. On to the purpose of this post; the finale of the "Ahhh, The Glory of Engrish" series. I know that you have all been eagerly awaiting this post. Well now here it is, enjoy!

Found this gem at the Beijing Zoo (near the panda exhibit). Love it!
Not sure what the "Spcial Produc ts" were that these people in Harbin were claiming they had a monopoly of, but they sure were proud of it!
Found this sign in Sun Island Park in Harbin.
Found this one in Sun Island Park as well. You'd think they would be able to find someone to translate these for them. Gotta respect their concern for nature though.
This picture was found on Huashan in Shanxi Province. Signs like this were all over the mountain. They provided a nice laugh as we made the trek up the mountain.
Another one of the Huashan signs. It reads "Take care the roiing stones"
The last of the signs from Hua mountain. It would seem this sign is warning of impending danger on the right side, but the edge of the cliff was actually to the left. What the sign is supposed to say is that the path is on the right.
Saw this in a magazine on my way from Tianjin to visit some friends in Beijing. I happened to be drinking some water when I first came across this and I almost shot it out of my nose.
These are on all of the new public buses throughout Tianjin. The English is almost a literal translation of the Chinese above it. You would think they would have found someone that could have done a better English translation.

Well that marks the end of the "Ahhh, The Glory of Engrish" series. I hope you enjoyed it! I'll post any more if I come across them but I only have 3 weeks left in China so I probably won't see anymore. I will be posting up some pictures of signs and things that I thought were funny that didn't necessarily fit into the Engrish category. Check back in a few days for that.

Quick Update

Just wanted to post a quick update. My computer's hard drive died on me this weekend. I seriously have the worst luck with computers! So, my roommate is taking my computer in to the Apple repair center this morning, and I'll HOPEFULLY have my computer back by mid next week. It's a good thing I backed up my computer last Thursday! Word of advice: back up your computer often (weekly if you do a lot of work with it). You never know when the hard drive is gonna crap out.

So, for those of you anxiously awaiting the final part in my "Ahhh, The Glory of Engrish" series, you will have to wait a bit longer. I apologize for that!

One more thing that I wanted to mention. This morning I came across a small jian bing stand (a Chinese breakfast wrap thing...they're delicious!) that was completely powered by a solar panel. I was way impressed! I have no idea how much the panel cost them, but I'm sure it is saving them loads on energy costs! It completely caught me off gaurd. Never expected such a tiny business to take the lead in using renewable energy.

Ahhh, the Glory of Engrish Part 2

Welcome to Part 2 of my "Ahh, the Glory of Engrish" series! Enjoy!

Spotted this sign in Xi'an close to the famous Terracotta Warriors.
I don't personally know this woman, but I'm sure she really is a "Super Dad."
Found this in a magazine on the speed train between Beijing and Tianjin. The ad is for some sort of Chinese wine. The ad says "Chinese Confidence," and the really small print says "Brave the wind and waves and spend the time of hardships together." I think it's hilarious that they can get away with a message like that. "When life gets tough, just drink!"
Found this sign on the Crescent Moon Island. There are a lot of cool things to do there, like crab "wantching" "under night" or you can pay a visit to the "Woods of Tweedling Birds."
Not quite sure how they came up with "Interesting Game" instead of bowling.
I couldn't seem to find this place where you could walk in a ball on water. I'm sure it would have been fun though.
This sign was also on the Crescent Moon Island. This island was a gold mine of Engrish! It really is a beautiful island and I highly recommend visiting it :)
This sign needs no explanation.
This sounds like a place I would never want to visit.
It was hard to get a decent picture of this with my iPhone, but it says "Romantic Crystal Love."

Well that does it for part 2 of "Ahh, The Glory of Engrish." Keep checking back for the last part of the series. It should be up within a few days.

Ahhh, the Glory of Engrish Part 1

Now that my time in China is winding down (only have 5 weeks left) I figured I'd post some of the finest examples of Engrish I've seen since I've been here. This is part one, enjoy!
I apologize for the low quality of this photo but I took it from a distance with my iPhone (2mp camera ftw). Yes, this store's name is "Scat." Found this store in an underground shopping mall in Zhongguan Cun in Beijing.

This next pic I took from a menu at a very nice dinner-theater restaurant in Beijing. It was for some kind of wine if I remember correctly. I wonder what "luxury in the mouth" tastes like...

Found this near Houhai in Beijing.

An example of some of the fine delicacies available at the night market in Wangfujing, Beijing.

The "Perilous Hills" of the Forbidden City, pictured behind the sign, were literally 4 or 5 feet tall.

I've seen these trash cans at various tourist spots in different cities. Apparently they have special trash cans in case you want to throw away organisms (whatever that means).

That concludes part one of my "Ahhh, the Glory Of Engrish" series. Check back in the next few days for the next part in the series :)

LG Celebrates Women's Day

Just wanted to do a quick post to let everyone know that LG is celebrating Women's Day (didn't even know that was a holiday) today. They are letting the women here participate in a contest. The contest is.............ready for it?.............. threading needles!!!!!!!! When I heard that that was the contest that they are holding for the women that work here, I almost died laughing! It's like they're sending a subtle message to women that they should be sewing and knitting things, and not working in an office. I love it....... just wanted to share that with you guys.

Update:
So I just found out what the prizes are for the "Needle Threading" competition, and quite frankly, I'm shocked! This years prizes include...................get ready................... toothpaste or a bar (not liquid) of hand soap! I can't believe it! If only I were eligible to compete, I could really use some hand soap! Apparently these are standard prizes at most of the LG competitions. I also found out about a new competition. It's arranging flowers in a basket... I'm being 100% honest about this... you can't make this stuff up. Priceless!

Beijing and Adventures in Baking

I figured I better do a quick update before I go to bed. Otherwise, I'll never get around to it. So this last weekend was a lot of fun. I took the other interns I work with to Beijing for some sightseeing. The Singaporeans have never been to Beijing before so it was especially cool for them.

I took them to all the usual spots like Qianmen, Houhai, Wangfujing, etc. Some random Chinese people asked to take pictures with me again (see pic below) at Qianmen. That hasn't happened in a long time. It's always funny when they do. I obliged them :D (kind of makes me feel like a celebrity I guess).
The night market was a lot of fun! I got them all to eat silk worms and scorpions (the scorpions are actually quite good). Then I tried a seahorse for the first time. They were pretty gross. Just a crunchy, boney, fishy, nasty taste. Wasn't too fond of them. After our night market adventure, I took them too a popular pub at Sanlitun called Bar Blu to relax after a long day of walking all over Beijing. Our last stop for the evening was my favorite massage place in Xizhimen. It was nice to see all of those people again. I still can't believe you can get a 90 minute foot massage for less than $10! I love it!!

Tonight I taught all of my co-workers that have been attending my English lessons how to bake cookies. It quite an experience! Just to get this out of the way, the recipe was called "The Best Chocolate Chip Cookies in the Universe" (they live up to the name) and I was originally told that getting all the ingredients would not be a problem (after all the Director really wanted them). So at 5:00pm today when I went to the kitchen to start getting the ingredients ready, the head of the kitchen Yu Tingting, told me that her manager would not approve of the purchase of chocolate chips due to their high price. I was pretty bummed, how can you make chocolate chip cookies without chocolate chips?!?! It just doesn't make sense! So I figured I'd still give it my best shot.

Funny side note: After Yu Tingting told me that there were no chocolate chips, she showed me some potato chips and said, "All we have are potato chips, can we use these?" It was really hard not to laugh (I was afraid I'd offend her)! I guess it is confusing having the word chip in "chocolate chip." Needless to say, I had to explain that chocolate chips were nothing like potato chips.

So we started putting all the ingredients in their separate bowls and I asked for the electric mixer. Then, not to my surprise, I was told that they don't have one. So we had to try and mix everything by hand (with chopsticks and a soup ladle because they didn't have any mixing spoons). That was not easy, and we were never able to fully break up some of the clumps of brown sugar (which was the weirdest brown sugar I've ever seen btw). Then when we started putting the dough on the cookie sheets I tried to explain to them that it isn't a science, and that they only need to put similar-sized balls of cookie dough in lines along the baking pan. I don't think I explained it well, because they were putting the dough on the pan in the shape of an already baked cookie and swirling the top of the dough around in circles with chopsticks trying to make them perfect. It was funny to watch. Baking is a pretty foreign concept for the average Chinese person. Ovens aren't very common here (I am told only the wealthy have them) as Chinese food is typically steamed or pan-fried.

The cookies turned out just OK. There were still clumps of brown sugar in some of the cookies, and the ovens didn't bake them evenly. I just hope the Director enjoys them when he samples them tomorrow. It was a super-fun experience and I think everyone enjoyed it. I really like all of the people that take English classes from me (there are about 10 total). I'm glad I get to hang out with them 3 times a week.